In the last few weeks since I have started my Instagram account for The Bear and Me, I have noticed myself and quite a few people I follow apologise for things they don’t need to. I find women in particular are much more prone to apologising for everything – including things about themselves. So here’s 5 things you need to stop apologising for. Enjoy!
Your opinion on different matters in your life is what ensures you have a voice. But why do we need to apologise for having an opinion? The only reason I believe you should apologise for having an opinion is if you end up being wrong about something, then, you graciously apologise and move on. But, if you’re posting YOUR opinion on your own social media platform (Facebook, Instagram etc.), then I don’t see a reason why you need to say “Sorry if this offends anyone …” or “Sorry, but that’s my opinion.” Be strong in your opinions and don’t apologise for having a voice.
I am 110% guilty of this and it’s something I need to keep in check. No matter if you are big, small, voluptuous, strong, petite, tall, short or any other shape or size, you do not need to apologise for the way you look. Every body is beautiful, no matter what shape or size. The same weight on five different body types is going to look different, so healthy isn’t a weight or clothing size. Everyone has a different healthy weight and comfortable size, so embrace your body, you’ve only got one. Treasure your body and look after it, give your body the best chance it has to do so many wonderful things for you. When you look in the mirror, look for the positives and avoid focusing on the flaws you think you might have. I say “think you might have” because in reality, almost no one will notice anything you perceive as wrong with your body. Just remember that.
You are a human being, you are allowed to have feelings. Every man and his dog has cried at some stage and just because women are perceived to be more emotional than men due to “hormones” does not mean you need to apologise for having a teary moment or an overjoyed moment. If you need to cry, that is okay. For some people, it is a way they deal with stress or grief. I know that’s how I deal with it, and my partner has learnt that too. Once I’ve had a cry, the ‘I’m in over my head’ feeling is gone and I can deal with whatever situation I need to. It is okay to express your emotions and feelings. Of course, it makes us feel a little better to have a cry in private, but if you can’t hold it in any longer and you have a little cry in public, just bite your tongue for a moment before an apology just slips out. You don’t need to apologise for your emotions or feelings just because you are a female.
This is probably the type of apology that upsets me the most, yet I sometimes have the same issue because of a little problem called doubt. The amount of times I’ve seen someone talk about their passion and their eyes just light up the room until they suddenly stop and say something like, “Sorry, I’m probably annoying you” (Yes, I’ll be honest, I have said that before) is crazy! Either someone has told them that in the past their passion is not worth pursuing or is boring or the little doubtful voice in their head has gone “You can’t do it. That’s silly.” And doesn’t that just suck! Everyone should have a passion, whether it be writing, looking after children, building houses or being a nuclear physicist, your passion matters. No passion is too big or too small. If you put your mind to it, you can achieve it.
Your achievements, or lack of, are really no one else’s business but if you want to share some sort of achievement with your community, you don’t need to apologise for it. In Australia in particular, not many people like to share achievements in the fear they’ll be put down or shamed for them. A lot of people then just choose not share them. In my opinion, if you have achieved something you are proud of and you want to share it, go for it darling! Today I celebrated reaching 150 followers on The Bear and Me’s Instagram account. For some people 150 followers is less than one-tenth of their own followers, but I am proud of my achievements so I don’t really care what you think of my wonderful 150 followers.
So that is it. I am just as guilty for apologising for these things so let’s hold each other accountable for apologising when we don’t need to. If you see someone apologising for something they shouldn’t, tell them (in a nice way of course!).
Exciting news, The Bear and Me now has a Pinterest account as well. My blog posts will be shared there as well as other things like self-love reminders, quotes for my partner and I (if you’re into that lovey-dovey stuff), my life in pictures and a few other random bits and bobs. So if you’re interested, click the link above and follow me on Pinterest to see all sorts of amazing stuff I want to share with you.