Moving in with your partner – the ups and the downs.

So you’re thinking of moving in with your partner? You think things will stay the same as what they were when you were staying over at each other’s places, but in my experience, they don’t. Moving in with your partner is a massive roller-coaster. There’s ups and downs and twists and turns. Sometimes you get to enjoy the view and sometimes you get worried. There is so much compromise involved in moving in with your partner, you learn the art of give and take and if you are thinking of taking the big step, keep reading!

 

You learn how to compromise

 

Thing’s are never always going to go your way. You have to listen to the other person and what they want or need, or what they think is the best idea. It’s not about who’s right or wrong, I should know, being the stubborn person I am. It’s about taking the time to listen what the other person has to say with the purpose of listening, rather than the purpose of replying. You talk it out and you decide what is the best, for the both of you.

 

You’ll probably argue more

 

Living together means not only will you see each other more, or hopefully anyway, but it also means you have more responsibilities. With more responsibilities comes more stress. You have bills to pay, you have to budget and then there’s the housework. You have to do the jobs you don’t want to do or the jobs you don’t like. Jobs like cleaning the toilet or scrubbing the shower, they’re my least favourites anyway, but yet I do them. You’ll argue about things like money, time and little insignificant things that you can’t even remember the next day.

 

You learn to forgive

 

When you move in with your partner, as I mentioned above, you’ll probably argue more. But with arguments comes forgiveness. Don’t go to bed angry, even if that means you have to wake up your partner who falls asleep in two seconds flat. It’s always better to go to bed once you’ve sorted everything out, you’ll have a much better sleep and you won’t have to start the day off on a bad foot.

 

You will learn more about your partner

 

Being in such close quarters with your partner you will learn more about your partner every day. You will learn in even more depth their likes and dislikes, what their routine is, whether they leave the toilet seat up or down. You will learn their annoying habits, more about their personality and what makes them happy. I’ve been living with my partner for a year now and dating for over 2 years and almost every day I learn something new about him.

 

Their friends will visit – even if you have never met them before

 

And no, it’s not like when you’re living with your parents and you can just hide in your room. It’s your house too and you have to play host, or hostess, whatever is politically correct these days… This also means that your house needs to be semi-presentable at all times because your partner won’t always give you warning that people are coming over. You also have to engage in conversation with them and offer them refreshments, even if all you have is cold water or apple juice in the fridge.

 

Eventually, there won’t be as much heat in your relationship

 

You won’t even realise it’s happening but one day you’ll be sitting on the couch eating ice cream out of the tub in your old, baggy undies and stained t-shirt and then it hits you. There’s less lingerie, there’s less dating and there’s a whole lot more comfort. This doesn’t always mean there’s less sex, but you get comfortable with each other. You learn what the other person likes and what they dislike. They will see you at your absolute worst, but they will also see you at your best.

 

Date night changes

 

When you were staying over at each other’s house, cooking dinner together and watching a movie was considered date night. But now that you are living together, you cook dinner together almost every night so you actually have to make the effort to go out on date night. However, because generally when you move out you have less money, date nights are not overly extravagant. It’s not often that you get fully dressed up, heels and all to go on date night. It’s normally cheap food and a movie in semi casual clothes. And I’m completely okay with that.

 

You might gain weight

 

If you’re anything like my partner and I, he can eat anything he wants and not gain a kilo, I look at the wrong foods and I bloat straight away. Without even realising it, you’re no longer eating your normal portion sizes and you don’t eat the foods you used to. A combination of budgeting and cooking for two will change what and how much you eat. And once again, it will jump up and surprise you.

 

Your partner will always be there

 

A benefit to living together is that at the end of the day, when you’ve had a crappy day at work, they’ll always be there to give you a hug or a kiss, or if I’m especially lucky, a neck massage. You don’t have to wait for them to come over to your place, or wait the whole drive over. Once they’re home, they’re home with you and that is the greatest feeling, cuddling on the couch or in bed, releasing all the stress of the day.

 

You’ll feel the pressure to get married and/or have kids

 

This is something I think I have talked about previously and something I am no stranger to. Once you move in with your partner you will get pressure from lots of people asking when you’re going to get engaged, or married or have kids. There’s the pressure from people asking and then there’s the pressure from the people around you getting engaged or married or whatever. You go through a stage where you get upset about people asking all the time, and then you move past that and you get to the stage where I am now. It’ll happen when it happens. It’s not a priority to us right now, and as I said earlier, I am still learning more and more about my partner every day, it takes more than 1 or 2 years to get to know someone inside and out. But you know what, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t want to live with anyone else.

 

-A.

 

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