At one point or another, we’ve all experienced a relationship ending. Nobody panic, my partner and I haven’t split up, today, I’m talking about friendships. As you grow older, friends come and go and eventually you’re no longer friends. At the time, you can’t quite figure out why but after a while I find it can be put down to one thing in particular, marriage.
Marriage changes couples. I cannot count the amount of people I know who have changed after they become engaged or get married. Unless you’re really good friends, once a couple become engaged it’s almost like they only want to hang out with other married/engaged couples. This may not be everyone’s experience, but it certainly is mine. When you’re all in relationships, everything is fine and dandy, you talk about your future together as friends. Conversations like, when you have kids, or when we have kids, or when we have a house of our own, are regular topics around the dinner table. But all of a sudden, that ring is on the finger and the friendship disappears. The ones who aren’t engaged suddenly aren’t important. It’s all about their wedding and engagement, sending and posting photos of the ring and the wedding plans. Almost like they have no consideration for anyone else. It comes across to me like they’re bragging. That’s partially my fault though because I cannot wait to get married to my love, but also, weekly photos of your ring, gets old kinda quick.
I sound like a jealous cow, and I probably was for quite a while, but I soon realised that not every relationship lasts forever. Sometimes, people are only in your life for a short period of time. At the time, it was meaningful, but looking back, you learn your lesson. I guess that’s where hindsight is a wonderful thing. It allows you to look back at that period in your life and realise that it was time to move on. When the catch ups become forced and difficult to organise, you know it’s time. You’re going down different paths and that’s ok. Some friendships last decades, some last a few months, and that’s a big lesson I’ve learned this year. There is no point trying to get something out of someone who isn’t putting the effort in. If people want to be in your life, they’ll put the effort in. That’s why, even though me and my best friends live WAY TOO FAR away from each other, yeah I’m talking to you three… At least once a year we put the effort in to see each other and we chat on a regular basis. We make the effort because our friendship is important to us.
So if you have people in your life that are no longer putting in the effort, it’s time to move on. You only have one life, live it with the people who want to be around you and the ones who are on the same path as you.
I’ve kept this post short and sweet tonight as it’s already quite late because 1. big weekend and 2. haven’t had the best weekend health wise and my brain isn’t functioning to 100%. I hope you all had a fantastic weekend and let me know if you can relate to this in any way!
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